film: what dreams may come

affinity —
kinship of spirit

soulmate —
one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity

Мой новогодний рабочий стол

/ desktopwallpaper — 김 대현 (Daehyun Kim), “자꾸만 네가 떠올라” (“Sinking of you”) (marker & pen on paper, 2010) /

I always feel like I’m struggling to become someone else. Like I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I guess it’s part of growing up, yet it’s also an attempt to reinvent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself of everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself–as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go, I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change, but I’m still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger that I can never satisfy. I guess that lack itself is as close as I’ll come to defining myself.

 — South of the Border, West of the Sun by Haruki Murakami

it isn't worse, it's just different.

“I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.”

― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

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В моём образе жизни в такие дни проглядывает некая разновидность усилия надежды, превозмогающая безразличие как таковое и уж точно – моё собственное безразличие.

— Пабло Неруда

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летаргический сон / lethe («забвение») и argía («бездействие»)

интенсивный мятущийся лиризм

поэтический пафос

i feel ∞

Интересно, что человек, имеющий крайне второстепенную роль в моей жизни, может воспроизвести в памяти меня в возрасте двух лет, когда я напрочь лишена этих воспоминаний.
Когда думаю об этом,  я чувствую какую-то несправедливость, что существуют отрывки моей жизни, который есть в голове у кого-то, помимо близких людей.

Читаю сейчас The Perks of Being a Wallflower: пока это единственная книга в оригинале, которая не надоела мне еще в начале.